new beginnings'... :)

Most probably think I have abandoned my blog.. In a lot of ways I have... I havent wanted to resvisit it because I wasnt sure if I was ready to see and feel what it represented.
through 2010 my goal was to stay positive.. see my life for what it is.. blessed.. and push my self to do things that I never thought I could. Most of my posts reflected just that.
My life has gone through major upheaval since July and I couldnt figure out a way to write about it without it looking like I was airing dirty laundry... I also lost some focus and creativity.
I have seen divorce through the eyes of a bystander.. good friends whose marriages didnt work out for whatever reason...
I wasnt prepared for the feeling of complete and utter failure. I wasnt prepared for the people whom I was close to to choose sides. I wasnt prepared for the heart wrenching pain of seperating myself from an entire extended family.
I thought I could handle what my kids would do... They've been amazing.. I love them so much. I am blessed.
Some months have passed and my outlook has improved. the love in my heart is still there. My ex is still my best friend and we are still a team when it comes to the kids.
Some day I will find someone to share my life with again.. That is not my focus now...
2011 will represent  a stronger me. An Independant me. A happy me.

how my life looks now :)

 

what 2011 will bring

G will graduate!!! whoa...

L will drive!!!...

B will dominate the pool!!

We did it!!

July 17Th 2010..
Corey and I ran our first half marathon!! I wasnt very happy with my finishing time.. so what!? I finished!!!!
Corey, on the other hand ...01:51... his first half.. under 2 hours... whatev...

I was EXHAUSTED... this is even after a nap

summer vacation!!!!

guess where we went!

figure it out yet?

no one else but us..

did you guess???

yep!

YELLOWSTONE!!!!

we took a family vacation!! 1st one in 3 years :)

stinky geysers....

beautiful colors

too bad he wasn't looking behind ...

while we were editing, we noticed a bear in the tree line!

the 4 most precious things..

also my view on all of our hikes..

I have the shortest legs

mom?!

he loved these hikes

she was the comedian the entire week :)

my boys

more geysers :)

all that matters to me

he loves me

Matchbox Twenty - Bent (Video)

Heard this song today... could relate....

"Keep breaking me in, and this is how we will end"

Sun Worship

I love the sun...

Its air I breathe

Its rays I soak in

Its light

to me

the sun is

permanence

all encompassing LOVE

giver of life

warmth

passion

strength

Heaven

I love the sun

Its a Major Award!!! :)

Awe!! I got an award?? Im touched that Purseblogger  thought of me! Let me figure this out...

“The Sunshine Award is awarded to bloggers whose positivity and creativity inspire others in the blogging world.”



Of course, awards come with rules…

1. Put the logo on your blog and/or within your post.

2. Pass the award on to twelve bloggers.

3. Link to the nominees within your post.

4. Let them know they received this award by commenting on their blog.

5. Share the love and the link to the person from whom you received this award

I dont think I follow 12 blogs... still a newby


thank you purseblogger!! Here

1. michelle at Becoming Cupcake... all about creativity and positivity!!
2. Ali at  Our Martin Family You are hangin in there and bein my hero sis!!!
3. Annie from All things in the West LOVE you sister!!
4.Staci fromLetters to the Little Ones can sooo relate


All the other blogs I follow are fabulous too ... it just took me an hour to link these guys....

happy trails!!

I know it makes you feel good ;) Join in and play HERE

I HATE RUNNING
I HATE RUNNING

So my sweet, over enthusiastic hubby has us running a half marathon in July.

In all fairness, I signed us up.... but it was his idea!!!!!

Hence:

Hal Higdons 12 week training program for half marathon...NOVICE

yes thats me!! NOVICE runner....is it even running when you can walk faster?

week one_ longest run : 4 miles    whew felt awesome, I did it!! 4 miles!!

week  two- longest run 4 miles... yippee...

now Im on week 3 just finished my 3rd run for the week

tonight? 3.5...... YOUCH!!!!! why am I so much more sore today?

welp.... i am looking forward to a refreshing 5 mile run on sunday.....

WHATEVER!!!!!

At what point am I going to start liking this BS

Right now, I just feel old....

one more confession... I am way too jealous that my husband can run faster than me.... I mean seriously, so what that he is in terrific shape (woot wooo),,, does he have to show me up like that ;)

If this has totallly inspired you to train for your own half marathon check out my training program

HERE

ups and downs

It has been a busy busy week... running and working and being productive.. I went from good things happening for my job to..... making the decision to go see my terribly sick grandmother (  I knew I couldn't stand to see her suffering).

~family~
I am only super close to a couple people in my family. I really kinda think I am just a loner. I am an only child raised by a teenage mother whom I have endless issues with. Needless to say we aren't close, we rarely see each other even though we live in the same city. Sometimes I feel really bad about that. My husband reminds me that I would be happy to spend time with her is she had the desire. ....

From my mother, I am blessed with  a great big extended family (she has 5 sisters and a brother).
I have grown up with so many cousins and am still close to some today!

Back to my Grandma...... she is sick..... Her lungs are in horrible shape and there are times when she cant breath.. I haven't seen her for a long time .. for no good reason other just being busy with my own brood.. I went to see her this week and she was just good old grandma cracking jokes and singing songs.. I fell in love with her all over again.. how could I go SO long without seeing her!! My grandparents lived in California most of my adult life.. even though I talked to them on the phone occasionally, I was used to not seeing them.... When Grandpa died, she moved back.. I have no good excuse...

Because grandma is sick, My one and only uncle came to town.. Michelle, you said it best when you said all the good memories just came flooding in.... I miss that guy!!!

now the downer..
some days I just don't feel cut out for the real estate biz.. My fun clients whom I was helping them buy a new home and sell their old one...totally got cold feet and backed out of both.. Although I don't blame them and I understood their anxiety ... I felt like I got fired. I am broken hearted today.
well I just have to get back up (again) and go get some more business.
In the last year I have discovered a very stubborn streak in me..  I don't want to fail!! and quitting is failure.. I cant walk away from something even if its making me crazy or breaking my heart... I want it to work! I want to succeed!

My son turned 17 yesterday!! ahhh stop getting older!!!!

Here is hoping for some happy posts next week!!!

Thanks for reading :)

"Blue Sky" by Emily West

what a pretty song... I know its depressing but I always love break up songs... ha ha

a BeauTiFuL SuNDaY.....

I love the sun!

The smells

 the way if feels in my lungs

when Im running

the way it kisses my skin

I love the sun!

Hal Higdon novice training for half marathon week 1 : ACOMPLISHED!!!!!!!

What the???!!!! Stephanie Meyer has a new book????
Looks soo good!!

Diet days #24
Ugh....
started out ok... Im not on the shots now but still need to follow diet for 3 days..
skipped lunch, came home starving ate 3 (60 cals)parmesan crisps (yummy and salty) and 4 slices of salami (100 cals)
GRRRRRRRR........
I guess i will just keep track of the calories and not worry too much about content...LOL

On a brighter note.. my cutest bestest Cuz is opening a Cupcake bakery in Ogden!!!!! I went JuNkIng with her today to furnish the shop and then got a personal tour of her new space! I have soo much fun with that chicky :) I am super excited for the place to open... she has been dreaming of this for a long time!

Business is still super slow for me, Im hoping to pick up soon and If you know anyone who wants to buy or sell real estate, let me know!! xoxoxoxo

fessin....

wanna play? click here!

here we go!!!!!

1.  so so stinkin sick of my diet!!! I want to scream!!!!!
2. I got knocked down last night by a terrible migraine (residual headache still creeping about), all I could think about was who could I buy a percocet from!!! LOL I didnt, I toughed it out.
3. Thats what I get for not wearing my glasses in over a week!
4. I hate wearing glasses. stupid astigmatism..
5. This is a super whiny post, isnt it?
6. Business has been sssaaaalllllooooowwwww (slow, exagerated)..
7. if you want your hair did or your house sold, Im your girl!
8. I have the shopping bug so bad... all I want to do is refurnish my house!!! and my wardrobe!
9. I hate budgets
10. this diet and headache are getting to me... sorry for the temper tantrum :0)

diet day #19

completely stalled!!! going crazy!!! grrrrrr.....
so I have not lost anything for 5 days!! Its very frustrating when you are on a strict diet!!

my favorite things..

Anyone have just a few things that they love to splurge on?
 I dont mean big expensive items... just little things that maybe you could save on or go with out?

Here are a few of mine....
Clinique Almost Lipstick in Black Honey
LOccitaine Almond Apple velvet concentrate... so silky soft...
Estee Lauder Beautiful

I would post pictures if I could figure it out but just go to my amazon link to find the products if you want to try them...
I think I am going to drop some mothers day hints to my family...

diet day #17

AHHHH.... I really really tried!!!! I had 2 not so great days this weekend... diet wise anyways...
I had a fun night with friends and started snacking... on strawberries, a crate of strawberries...lol after a while I started dipping them in the fruit dip... after 2 weeks of detox, fruit dip was sugar overload!!! I thought I was tasting pure frosting!!!
Easter sunday, tried to be sooo good but broke down because of my mother inlaws homemade rolls and my devilled eggs!!!
So I am up 1 pound today... 3 days of progress down the drain! Oh well back on the wagon today! I am in the home stretch.. 7 days to go!!!
pounds lost as of today...12 1/2

Track season has officially started

The boys were feeling a bit left out because I'm always taking pictures of thier sister.. poor kids.. swimming takes sooo much time that she really does get the lion's share of my attention ......and my finances...
So here is another tribute to my oldest... nevermind that I just blogged about prom... hee hee

                                        he is very proud of his muscles... (what 17 year old isnt?)

this was the davis super meet.. He's doing great this season!

confessions :)

I havent done this since the first time..

I really laid it all out there!! haha!!

1. I am seriuosly addicted to facebook and blogger!! I check it ALOT
2. sometimes when my kids are telling me something.. I space out and say "uh huh"
3. I pride myself in saying I am my kids biggest fan... when really I would feel like a bad mom if I missed their sporting events
4. I have been on a strict diet for 2 weeks and have crazy dreams that I totally binge on chocolate ding dongs ( I dont even remember ever eating those)... then I wake up panicking that I totally sabotaged my diet before I realize it was just a dream!! Ha Ha..
5. I secretly dont want my kids to drive/ get jobs... I am kinda freaking out that they are growing up... DONT TELL THEM THAT!!!
6. If I would have known how expensive teenagers were 16 years ago... I think I would have spaced them out 5 years and been a little more careful with my BC pills!!
7. TMI??? I think not!! ha ha

love tank gage on full today :)

dearest one

I looked into your beautiful big brown eyes today

and cought a glimpse of your soul

a thing of such beauty

it was meant for none to see

for it was there glowed a fire within

Not of a raging inferno

more like a glowing ember

of a fire started by one with a purpose

the purpose of survival!

started by someone

whose utter being depended

on the deep warmth

that the coals

deep and long sustaining embers would bring

you see my love

I know that fire within your soul

is my love for you

It will never die

Not one person

will ever be given the power

to blow all of the coals away

The coals are the foundation

A way

to rekindle the warm fire within you

that feeds your soul

That small piece of you I saw today

was a gift

a gift only meant for me

Cwest

Really?? OH how I love that man!!!

diet days.. the sequel

On day 11 of 26...
pounds lost.. 10 1/2
miles run... 8
amount of times I have to pee.. countless
 heads I have snapped off... 5 including 2 strangers
emotional meltdowns.. 3
sizes down... 1 (I gotta booty)

Its getting harder.. I am hungry non stop today....and sooo tired....
I bought some B12 drops, I hope they kick in tomorrow

~~~~~~~

Feeling a bit un appreciated today... maybe a little ignored....
The princess in me wants to be cherished and showered with gifts... BA HAHAHAHA
Heres to wishin!